The Nortel Song

(sing to “Beverley Hill Billies Tune)

Come and listen to a story ’bout a man named Jed,
A poor College Kid barely kept his family fed,
But then one day he was talkin’ to a recruiter,
He said “They’ll pay ya big bucks if ya work on a computer”,
Telecom that is … switches … ATM

Well the next thing ya know ol’ Jed’s an Engineer,
The recruiters said “Jed move away from here”,
“Nortel Networks is the place ya oughta go”,
So off he went to Ontario,
Ottawa that is … -33?C winters… +33? summers

His first day at work was a huge orientation,
They said “We are telecom’s best corporation”,
“Our potential is great and we’ll make lots of money”,
Looking back now that sounds pretty funny,
Humorous that is … ironic

The months rolled by and things were getting bleak,
Profit warnings and lawsuits every single week,
The CEO says there’s no need for any qualms,
Why worry when our best customers are dot-coms?
Oops that is … who knew?

Things got worse and they were letting people go,
Who to keep and who to fire is a hard choice you know,
Did they keep the ones who did all the work, the company pillars?
Why of course not, they kept the managers,
Execs that is … the ones with the Beemers

Now Jed is unemployed and his mood is turning black,
He now thinks success means stabbing others in the back,
He doesn’t want to live like a theif or a looter,
He now does the closest thing – he works as a recruiter,
Headhunter that is … exploiter of newgrads


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